The beginning of freedom from the pain-body lies first of all in the realization that you have a pain-body.
It is your conscious Presence that breaks the identification with the pain-body.The pain-body in most cases does not dissolve immediately, but once you have severed the link between it and your thinking, the pain-body begins to lose energy.
Regardless of what you say or do, your mental-emotional state cannot be concealed. Every human being emanates an energy field that corresponds to his or her inner state, and most people can sense it, although they may feel someones else’s energy emanation only subliminally. That is to say, they don’t know that they sense it, yet it determines to a large extent how they feel about and react to that person.
The pain-body becomes often a filter through which the life situation is viewed. In very unhappy situations think about this:
“There is nothing you can do about the fact that at this moment this is what you feel. Now, instead of wanting this moment to be different from the way it is, which adds more pain to the pain that is already there, is it possible for you to completely accept that this is what you feel right now?”
-> If you don’t mind being unhappy, what happens to the unhappiness? You will still be unhappy but there is some kind of space around it. It seems to matter less. This space comes when there is inner acceptance of whatever you are experiencing in the present moment.
Unhappiness is created when you are out of alignment with the present moment. When you recognize that the present moment is always already the case and therefore inevitable, you can bring an uncompromising inner “yes” to it and so not only create no further unhappiness, but, with inner resistance gone, find yourself empowered by Life itself.
The pain-body and ego are close relatives. They need each other.
You look at the present through the eyes of the emotional past within you. In other words, what you see and experience is not in the event or situation but in you. Maybe sometimes it is in the situation but then you amplify it.
When you are completely trapped in the movement of thought and the accompanying emotion, stepping outside is not possible because you don’t even know that there is an outside.
Breaking identification with the pain-body
If somebody with a heavy pain-body argues with you, there is nothing to do other than remain open, alert and intensely present. Don’t react to or confirm the story, don’t feed the mind with more thoughts and the pain-body with more emotion. Allow the person to experience whatever he is experiencing at that moment and the power of allowing lies in noninterference, nondoing. Being present is always infinitely more powerful than anything one could say or do, although sometimes being present can give rise to words or actions.
The thinking mind cannot understand Presence and so will often misinterpret it. It will say that you are uncaring, distant, have no compassion, are not relating. The truth is, you are relating but at a level deeper than thought and emotion. In fact, at that level there is a true coming together.
When you recognize your own pain-body as it arises, you will also quickly learn what the most common triggers are that activate it, whether it be situations or certain things other people do or say. When those triggers occur, you will immediately see them for what they are and enter a heightened state of alertness.
Every time you are present when the pain-body arises, some of the pain-body’s negative emotional energy will burn up. The pain-body needs your unconsciousness. It cannot tolerate the light of Presence.
The pain-body as an awakener
At first sight, it may seem that the pain-body is the greatest obstacle to the arising of a new consciousness in humanity. It occupies your mind, controls your thinking, disrupts your relationships,..it makes you reactive, makes you say and do things that are designed to increase the unhappiness within yourself and the world.
The unholy alliance between ego and pain-body eventually breaks down in those cases where the pain-body is so heavy that the egoic mind structures, instead of being strengthened by it, are becoming eroded. Their acute emotional pain forces them to disidentify from the content of their minds and the mental-emotional structures that give birth to and perpetuate the unhappy me. They then know that neither their unhappy story nor the emotion they feel is who they are. They realize they are the knowing, not the known. Rather then pulling them into unconsciousness, the pain-body becomes their awakener.
Breaking free of the pain body
How long does it take to become free of the pain body? The better question one should ask is: How long does it take to become free of identification with the pain-body? And the answer to that question is: It takes no time at all.
When the pain-body is activated, know that what you are feeling is the pain-body in you. This knowing is all that is needed to break your identification with it.
The knowing needs to be followed by accepting. Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the is-ness of the Now. You can’t argue with what is. Well you can, but if you do, you suffer.
During an argument
Don’t become identified with a mental position of rightness. That is what the ego thrives on. It loves negative thinking.
Ask the question: What I am feeling now, what I am thinking now? Focus on these two aspects of your inner state.